Activating some change in your day-to-day life can help alleviate situational depression, anxiety, stress and yes anger too.

Innately, we feel a desire to make changes in our lives, we think about how we would like to be. However, the thought of making these changes can seem daunting.  Many among us do not know how or where to begin.

Begin with the end in mind. That is, imagine how you would like to be and then identify the steps to get there. The first few steps are often about grounding yourself so that you are well prepared to embark on this process of personal and / or professional growth.  Remember it is a process so the initial steps have to be realistic changes to make.

Commit to activating these 5 achievable activities in the next week or two which could lead to more satisfaction in your day to day life.

i. Begin to eliminate the clutter.  Eliminate clutter from your home: i.e. tidy up, re-arrange your closet, clean out the garage. If your home or personal space is clean, tidy and uncluttered then you will feel more positive and be more motivated.  How to do it? Commit to 2-hour time segments several times a week until the clutter is gone. ‘Unclutter your closets, unclutter your mind’.

ii. Learn a new skill. If your career is a source of dissatisfaction, take a continuing education course or community class to learn a new skill that will benefit your career. Learning new skills will boost your qualifications and your self-confidence and prepare you as your career evolves.

iii. Get physical. Find a sport, dance class or gardening group that interest you and give it a try. You might find you really enjoy it and have a natural talent for it. At the very least, you would be getting out, meeting new people and trying something new. All of which will boost to your self-esteem.

 iv. Unplug 1 – 2 hours a day. Enjoy some quiet time without your smart phone or tablet. After  10 days of being unplugged for a spell each day, notice the amazing difference in you.

v. Give back to your community. Volunteer your time to an organization you support.  Commit to a consistent number of hours each week or month. Volunteer to help children, seniors, the disabled, pets, homeless, care agencies, health agencies, fundraisers etc.  Go ahead pick one. You’ll do something you enjoy and be giving back to your community at the same time.

Making small changes rejuvenate and energize us without completely disrupting our lives. In fact, small changes can make our lives more interesting.  Sometimes, that’s all we need to feel healthy and fulfilled and other times it is what keeps us engaged in the process toward  major life changes.

These 5 achievable activities are perfect for kickstarting motivation and through small, realistic, yet powerful changes. If you would like guidance from a professional in order to get on a path to genuine change, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Photo courtesy: Liz West

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Although it may be difficult to have a solid boundary between work and home life, it is imperative to set some boundaries so that both rejuvenation and creativity can result. As new communication technologies have spread in popularity, many people find themselves working 50-70 hour work weeks. After 8 hours in an office or other workplace, an employee may be expected to follow through on assignments and other projects while at home. Some collaborative projects may permeate all parts of an employee’s life. And, more and more people are self-employed and working long hours day and night.

Over time, a lack of any boundaries between work and pleasure can create chronic stress in an individual. Chronic stress can lead to chronic illness. And, as work from an office spills over into one’s personal life, the stress and anxiety of the workplace can place an emotional toll on relationships, emotional health, and outside interests.

It’s essential to create breaks – both short and long – between work and non-work time. After leaving the office ( including home office), do not work on any assignments. Minimize work-related phone calls, and allow voice-mail to catch work related calls.

While some managers may consider this inappropriate behaviour from an employee, it can be beneficial to both the individual and the organization. The human mind isn’t designed to concentrate on the same task for 8-10 hours each day. Most people are only capable of deep concentration for a few minutes at a time. By taking regular breaks, creating boundaries between work and home, and respecting one’s free time, chances are greater that both the amount of productivity as well as the quality of work will increase.

In addition to improving productivity, taking regular breaks can improve one’s creativity. It’s impossible to create thoughts out of nothing — creativity comes from life experiences, day dreaming, and social interaction. By allowing one to experience a world outside of work, it’s possible to improve one’s work performance. And Yes, taking regular breaks can reduce work-related depression and improve happiness.

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Yes, take time to care that we are into a new season. The answer to getting out of negative emotions or to get ‘unstuck’ is to spring into action. Even better, go play something. Join something. Play outdoors. Play with the kids in your life. The choice is yours: volleyball, tennis, softball, soccer, ultimate frisby, lawn bowling, golf, flag football, paddleboarding ….Pick something and do it. Go ahead!

The answer to a ‘situational’ depression is action. If you are depressed, overwhelmed or feeling stuck in life or in your career then take a little break. Get out of your head – get away from your negative or self-defeating thoughts and go do something, something active – have some fun. In so doing, you will focus on the activity and then return to the serious issues in your life feeling rejuvenated. This rejuvenation will lead you to have a more creative mindset to problem solve more effectively.

It is true I am the type of therapist that gives my clients practical homework after each session. I believe in action, in moving clients forward in some aspect of their life. Key issues will not resolve overnight, however if other aspects of your life improve then it will be easier for the difficult issues to eventually resolve.

The job, the relationship, the debt, the conflict, the anxiety will usually resolve through a manner of process. However, activating your life in the area of leisure will allow you to experience fun and rejuvenation and will indirectly help you resolve the bigger stressors.

Your attitude will become more positive and you will feel optimistic. As you carve out time to play, you return to troubling matters with new insight.

“Live a happy life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” – Robert Fulghum, Philosopher.

Photo courtesy: USAG – Humphreys

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Today, more and more people at various times in their lives do experience feelings of ‘being stuck’. Such a feeling is very prevalent given our times i.e. fast pace, on-going change, longer lives. And, more people are activating and navigating life transitions initiated by prolonged feelings of ‘stuckness’ than ever before.

Clients who schedule to see me because they are feeling stuck are usually stuck because they could be: i) in a job/career that no longer challenges or motivates them ii) in a relationship that is not fulfilling iii) in a social scene that they have outgrown iv) in a university program that disappoints and so on.

How do I help these clients? In a solution-focused manner, I use both counselling and coaching techniques to help these clients. Once they have told me their personal story then I conduct a comprehensive assessment that gives both me and the client a lot of information about the client. Following some key questions that I pose, clients are able to face and examine their fears and/or other barriers that keep them stuck. Once their stuckness is understood – often times it is the “ah-ha moment realized” – then together we explore what happy and moving forward would look like for the particular client.

Feeling stuck is a sign that you are in a life or career transition and once in it then the only way to get unstuck is to move through the process of a transition fully and completely. Yes, to do so requires some soul searching which most clients have started before they have contacted me. Navigated fully and properly, a life transition can be a wonderful journey to self discovery and self empowerment.

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Structure to one’s day – including regular healthy meals, regular bedtime, socialization and daily exercise – does wonders to help people, from teens to adults, deal with mild-to-moderate depression and anxiety.

Family doctors are being challenged to help their patients change to a healthier lifestyle.  Medication should be the last resort not the first.  Many patients suffering from mild-to-moderate depression will need help beyond the doctor’s office. Therefore, a referral to a Registered Clinical Counsellor who is solution-focused and skilled in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a major step in the right direction.

To note, the Canadian Mental Health Association has the Bounce Back program. The focus of the program allows the individual to take responsibility for his/her health which includes gaining control over mild-moderate mood disorders.

An emphasis on routine, structure and real life social connections are key for any individual to manage their life effectively.

If you are suffering from mild-to-moderate depression, activate a daily routine. Here are 4 important tips that I give to my clients who are suffering from mild-to-moderate depression or anxiety:

• Eat healthy at regular intervals and cut back sugar intake;
• Get at least 20 minutes of exercise a day (walk, run, dance, skip rope);
• Join something – be part of a group, choir, running club, volleyball class, a volunteer group;
• Make healthy sleep a priority – have a regular bedtime and turn off technology at least 2 hours before going to bed.

Once you incorporate these tips into your lifestyle they become habits. Once these habits become your norm then you are better prepared to deal with the easy and difficult challenges that are part of life.  The goal is to take charge and manage your life effectively.

NOTE: for more severe cases of anxiety and depression, medication may be necessary.  A good rule of thumb to consider when addressing mental health issues is:  seek counselling help, if necessary medication with counselling help and never medication alone.

Photo courtesy:  Utahwildflowers

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She then got into the car herself, solved a disagreement between her sons, took a deep breath and backed out of the driveway only to realize that she left the travel mug on the roof of the car – Splat on the ground.

Like the others in the meeting room, I had a hearty laugh. The immediate benefits from the laugh – increased energy and positive feeling – stayed throughout the day. And, we had a very efficient meeting following the laughter.

A good laugh sends oxygen to the brain, shifts your mood to the positive and puts your whole life into perspective. Regular laughter also benefits your immune system and prevents heart disease – Who knew!

I have noticed in recent years how serious everyone is. Smiles that use to be frequent aren’t there anymore. People are looking at finding out what is wrong rather than notice what is right. Anger, anxiety, depression, stress have increased to unhealthy levels in most workplaces impeding productivity.

In my counselling and coaching sessions, I use humour to help clients relax and be more at ease. Laughter is a way to relieve tension. It can help a client shift his mindset and see the troubling issue in a new light – a resolvable light.Contact me and have a session .

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” Aristotle (400 BC)

Photo courtesy:  Simon Johansson

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Summer is the perfect time to shift your mood to the positive. How? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) works wonders.

The essence of CBT is that if you change the way you think then you can improve your mood and your life. To sart this process,  be task focused rather than feeling focused.

The key is to shift the way you think, start thinking in a more positive way. Shift the way you think and your mood will lift and you’ll regain your mojo.

Most of the depression that I see in my office is situational depression which means that a situation(s) caused the depression. This is very different from a chemical depression.

And, for many clients the situational depression has gone on for a long time prior to them coming in for that first appointment. So the situational depression has rendered them into a negative feeling state that defines their current outlook on life. In other words, they become feeling focused and often disengaged from many of life’s activities.

So the key to shifting from depression or negativity to positivity is to focus on being ‘task focused’ rather than ‘feeling focused’. Commit to doing things. First acknowledge and accept your feelings and then engage in the activity. Even if you are feeling angry, anxious or depressed, acknowledge and accept your feelings and then go take part in the activity.

The activity (action) will shift your negative feelings to more positive feelings. Eventually you will come to see a new way  to resolve troubling issues. Once engaged in the action the negative feelings will dissipate allowing the positive feelings to emerge.  And, if the negative feelings persist seek out professional help with a solution-focused counsellor/therapist skilled in CBT.

So just to recap:

1) Acknowledge and Accept your feelings;
2) Commit to engaging in an activity on a regular basis;
3) Engage fully in the activity;
4) Notice your mood being more positive after the activity;
5) New perspectives will eventually emerge to solve your issues;
6) You will have regained your mojo;    

 *** Seek out professional help if needed.

Happy Summer Everyone!

Photo Courtesy:  Sarah Murray

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Having just come back from a wonderful week away, my list was about getting my life back to every-day functioning PLUS prepping for a meeting with my financial advisor. Still I decided that my list can wait a bit and Saturday’s beautiful morning cannot.

I headed for a walk on the False Creek seawall. What beauty I encountered – the weather was springlike and I laughed and thought ‘my vacation followed me home’. I stopped on the deck that juts out from the seawall and deep breaths I took. I marvelled at all that was within my panaramic view. I felt happy and content.

Young and old, walkers, runners, bikes and strollers were on the seawall. Kayaks, paddle boats and those cute little aqua buses were active on the water. The sun bounced off the beautiful buildings and landscape that so define False Creek. The vibrant energy in the air was electrifying. Smiles and laugher were a boost to everyones’ mental health. As the old saying goes ‘action is the anti-dote to much of the depression out there’ and action in nature ups the ante.

Sometimes you have to shuffle your plans a little to slow down and experience the beauty that nature provides whether it is time on the seawall, in the garden or in your local park. New perspectives on how to deal with what is ahead of you emerge when you take such time. A sunny weekend at this time of year is a glorious treat, take time to unwind and enjoy it.A weekend is always the time to relax and enjoy with family especially if it is with family and if its sunny

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