When making a resolution after the most indulgent and stressful season of the year, people want to flip the switch from over-indulgent to restrained or from imperfect to perfect. Many people fail at their goals because their focus is on the goal and not on the realistic process of achieving the goal.

A New Year’s resolution means committing to a change and then navigating the transition process to realize that change.  The change (or goal) is what you want to achieve; the transition is your individual journey towards achieving it.

The key to success in any resolution is being committed and well prepared.  Here are a few tips for you to consider when planning your New Year’s Resolution:

    i) Identify what you would like to change and achieve – pick one (maybe two) goals.

   ii) State the goal in a ‘whole life world view’ rather than in absolute terms. For example: commit to a healthier lifestyle not to losing 25 pounds; to living in smoke-free environment not to stop smoking immediately; to financial wellness not to refraining from all leisure spending, to an engaged parenting style not to be a less-stressed parent.

 iii) Be informed about the goal that you would like to achieve.  Why do you want to achieve it? What difference would it make in your life? in the life of those you love?

  iv) Craft a process (a plan) toward realizing your New Year’s Resolution. What are the realistic steps to get there? Know that setbacks will happen. Setbacks are part of learning and changing.

   v) Act as if you have realized your resolution.  As Gandhi said “Be the change that you would like to see in the world”.

  vi) Let people – family and close friends – know about your resolution.  Having support is a great motivator.  Friends and family can be your best cheerleaders.

 vii) Review your process weekly with a mindset of Reflection, Correction & Action.  What worked, what did not work and why? What will you do the same or differently in the coming week?

By identifying your goal and committing to navigating completely your transition process, you are well on the way of allowing your resolution to become a part of who you are.

Enjoy the journey.

Photo courtesy:  Penny Higgens

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In my business, many clients report “I have low self-esteem”. When I ask what they hope to get out of counselling, these same clients say “I want to be happy”. These statements are often talked about as if they are not connected at all. Many clients think that happiness can be achieved in spite of their ‘low self-esteem’. Many think that they are born with or stuck with ‘low self-esteem’, like having inherited ‘high cholesterol’. Not True! Increase your self-esteem and your happiness will soar.

We choose how we want to feel. And Yes, we can choose to be happy. It is up to each individual to determine what type of attitude that s/he wants to have each and every day and throughout each and every day. If you choose to be happy, to have a positive attitude then it is so much easier to reach your goals.

Simply put: self-esteem is the reputation that you have with yourself. It is what you truly think of yourself. If you think you are weak, then you will act weak or mask the weakness with anger or depression. If you think you are confident then you will take the steps necessary to act confident. Confidence is self-belief.

Once you begin to like yourself, you will begin to trust yourself which will lead you towards taking some risks (after weighing the pros and cons, of course). This will result in more confidence, higher self-esteem and then you will happily and confidently move forward in life. You will want to stretch yourself to be the best that you can be.

As mentioned, your self-esteem is the reputation that you have with yourself.

Here are 6 tips to start boosting your self-esteem:

1. Trust yourself
2. Picture yourself happy and confident
3. Take care of your health (emotional and physical)
4. Smile more
5. Take a deep breath often throughout the day
6. Engage regularly in a leisure activity ( dance, hockey, choir…).

“Just trust yourself, and then you will know how to live.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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Expecting a rainy day, my plans ( chores, errands) changed immediately with the sun peering through my window. I couldn’t quite get it together for a ski morning but I hopped to the invite from a couple of girlfriends to meet at Granville Island for a latte. Smiles, easy banter and laughter took up the initial greeting time and we chatted outside in the sun for an hour more before going inside, finding a table by the large sunny windows and ordering our upscale coffees. What a treat!

We could not help noticing that so many of the people – singles, couples of all ages, young families –  at GI yesterday were relaxed, laughing and enjoying the buskers perform. There did not seem to be any stress, anger or anxiety anywhere in sight. People were radiating positive emotions. I said to my friends that no one in my field of vision appears to be on a cell phone nor with any ear plugged to a digital device. How fantastic is that! Everyone appears to be ‘in the moment”. 

My work with many of my life coaching clients is to help them create the space in their lives so that they can slow down to clearly see the life that they wish to build.

On this beautiful day – after several heavy rain days – many at Granville Island seemed to be creating their own space.  I am reminded of words that John Lennon once said ” When you slow down in life, you show up”.

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