Being surrounded by people doesn’t guarantee you feeling less lonely, and being alone doesn’t guarantee you feeling loneliness. Loneliness and solitude are two vastly different feelings. Loneliness is considered to be something undesirable that comes to us, and solitude is a state of being we seek out to connect with ourselves on a deeper level.
Analyze this in your day-to-day life. Do you feel comfortable in your group of friends, and feel like you truly connect with them, or do you feel like you have outgrown them? In times when you are alone, do you find enjoyable solitude, or is it an unwanted state you feel has been placed on you? Something to think about.
Find people with similar interests to you. This is what will help you feel part of a group, of something bigger. There is something incredibly isolating and frightening about the loneliness that comes about when we are surrounded by a group of people – at an event, party, gathering. This usually happens because we are surrounded by people we have nothing in common with, or can’t connect with.
Take the step to volunteer at an organization that resonates with your personal beliefs, goals and interests where you can socialize and meet people close to your nature and very essence.
Distance yourself from social media. There is something very contradicting about social media and the intentions that it has been built with. It is meant to make us feel more connected, however, it makes us feel lonelier than ever. It can be both a blessing, and a curse. We only see the positive snippets of other peoples lives, and begin to compare our own with theirs. Am I having as much fun as him/her? Am I as beautiful as him/her? What do they have, that I don’t?
A study published by the Computers in Human Behaviour found that people who use seven to eleven different social platforms have more than three times the risk of depression and anxiety, than those who use zero to two platforms. You can read more about it here.
Turn off your notifications, delete social media apps from your phone so you are not tempted to open them every 15 minutes, and move other tempting apps to a folder on the last page of your phone. You will notice your productivity going up, your rediscovering hobbies and passions, and slowly wanting to open up to human connection again.
Nurture others – helping others, helps you. Offering love, care and attention to people and animals makes us feel worthy, needed and induces feelings of purpose and satisfaction. It can alleviate loneliness, help us meet new people and make us feel happier overall.
Volunteer at a local animal shelter, elderly home, or research an organization of your choice that you feel aligns with what you believe in, and the difference you want to make in the world.
My Vancouver life coaching services can help shift your perspective on loneliness and how it affects your day-to-day life. Get in touch with me to learn more about how I work, and how we can work together to transform your life for the better.