We’ve all been there. Life stalls and becomes unsatisfying, or loneliness sets in. We want to change yet don’t know how to start. We are terrified of failing that we prefer to stick with the unhappiness we know rather than risk failure. Alas, we continue in our rut.
A skilled solution-focused Counsellor or Life Coach can help you find more purpose in your way forward. Here are 3 small steps you can take right now to reset your life and shift your attitude to happy.
- Make a plan. Before you can make changes to your life, identify what you want to change. Imagine the change in a positive light and then decide what steps will move you closer to where you want to be. Be specific with the steps in your plan. If you’re battling loneliness, saying “I want to make friends,” may be the overall longer-term goal. Start with baby steps. Say to yourself “I’m going to smile and start an upbeat conversation with someone when I stop at the cafe this morning.” The brief conversation may be to the barista or to someone in the coffee line up and it might be about the coffee, the weather or last night’s hockey game. The key is to start the conversation. Having a specific task to do will move you one step closer to your ultimate goal.
- Acknowledge your fear of failure. Fear, particularly fear of failure, is one of the most powerful stumbling blocks in our lives. If we acknowledge it and create a plan to deal with it, we can minimize its hold over our life. For example, if your task was to start a conversation with someone, and you couldn’t do it, rather than beating yourself up for failing, tell yourself you’ll have another opportunity, at lunch time, or tomorrow.
- Find an activity that boosts your self-esteem. Engaging in activities – Playing an instrument, singing, engaging in a sport or dance activity – on a regular basis builds confidence, resilience and relieves anxiety. So when you stumble over a new task, remind yourself of the things that you can do and use the confidence that comes with that knowledge to re-evaluate what went wrong and attempt the new task again.
Making changes can be frightening. Making changes intentionally allows you to grow and expand your life. Acknowledging your fear and planning the steps to your desired change will allow you to reset your life in the right direction for you.
Photo courtesy: Amy Medicine