I was in Whistler for a couple of days recently with my youngest son. What a treat!
I was taking a few days off and my son was in that confusing part of a life transition. We, therapists, call it the ‘neutral zone’ or ‘limbo’ i.e. ‘the nowhere between two somewheres’. Chris had recently graduated from university ( the old somewhere) and was currently job-hunting for creative and meaningful work ( the new somewhere).
Chris is realistic – Thank Goodness. He wants his career path to eventually give him a comfortable lifestyle. His frustration was mounting as the leads were not materializing or people were not getting back to him as fast as he thought they would. He has an opportunity to get into a business situation which he would be good at. But, he wanted something on the creative side.
In any event, I could see him struggling and I offered that ‘he get out of Dodge” for a few days and play a little golf with his Mom. Surprised and happy that he said ‘yes’ I searched the internet for deals.
My goal for our couple of days together was to listen to him, not to ask questions. ( This is hard for me as I listen for a living and when with my adult kids, I want to know what’s happening).
When I picked him up en route to Whistler, the rap music went on and 20 minutes into the drive the rain started. Oh Geez…
We were booked to play at the Squamish golf course. It was pouring rain when we arrived. I suggested an early lunch. The rain stopped and we had a sunny afternoon of golf. If we talked during the 4.25 hour round it was about golf shots: ‘ good shot’ ‘tough luck’ ‘ bunker on the left’.
On the drive from Squamish to Whistler, the rap music went on and I stayed quiet ( hard for me…).
We checked into our hotel, changed and went for dinner. At dinner, he started sharing and he continued to do so at mealtimes.
When my son shared his struggles, I let him articulate his thought processes without judgement. My question were few and open ended so that he could explore deeper. He outlined his options, he articulated that he could be creative in the business opportunity ( default position). He felt that he would need to make a decision soon.
I validated the transition he was in and that it was a difficult place to be. I said that I know he would make a decision that was right for him. We headed home, rap music went on….
Two days later he called me, a good opportunity came through, he will be going east. It is an early first step toward his career dream.
Patience is prayer and it is also the answer to your prayer.