Have you ever noticed that when you make a positive change ( or changes) in your life, no one really wants to hear too much about it.
I had a client in my office the other day – a male in his late 20’s. He had been my client for the last couple of months and had made significant changes in his personal life. He really transformed himself from an angry young man to one more confident and comfortable in his own skin. Counselling focuses…
In session this past week, my client said to me that he felt really ‘bummed out’. He told me that he literally ran into an old high school friend while crossing a street corner after lunch in the downtown area. He hadn’t seen this friend in several years. ” We were tight in High School” my client said. They spoke for several minutes and agreed to meet later for a drink after work. Apparently his old friend noticed how great my client looked. He had said something like ” Wow man you look great – seems that you even have a six pack under those sharp new threads”. My client was delighted to have his hard work recognized.
Rather than simply saying ‘Thank-you’, my client elaborated on what he had been doing i.e. hitting the gym regularly, cutting back on the partying, rowing on weekends and taking a night course related to his career plan. My client gave all that info while still at the crosswalk and gave it without being asked for it. Needless to say, later in the afternoon, my client picked up a text message from his old friend cancelling out on their meet-up after work.
No question, my client is guilty of TMI – he shared way too much info. Upon reflection, my client felt that he wanted to share his success story and help his old buddy. However, his old friend was not ready to hear it. He was fine congratulating my client on looking great…he was not fine with being preached to.
Changes we make, people will notice. Some might be happy for us, some won’t and some will feel significant changes are hard to make right now. If people want to hear about how we made the changes, then they will ask. Many will not ask. Advice is something that must be asked for and not freely given. Yes, taking care of ourselves often means trusting ourselves and just getting on with life.